How to manage your anger by learning to communicate
We've all felt anger in our lives – either at a person, a circumstance, or both. We know what it feels like to be
so completely infuriated at someone (or something) that we almost reach our boiling point.
While anger is considered to be a normal – if not healthy – emotion, it can also dangerously take over a person’s
life if it gets out of control and destructive, leaving him feeling at the mercy of a vicious,
powerful and uncontrollable emotion.
Thankfully there are ways to prevent or manage such extreme levels of anger. One very important step to proper
anger management is learning better communication skills.
Anger and communication are actually quite related – and the improvement of the former may be one of the
best solutions for the control of the latter. Here are a few explanations:
Better communication allows you to assert yourself
You might think that being assertive is the same as being aggressive. While they are both possible ways
to express one’s anger, they are entirely different in approach, and lead to distinctly consequences.
Becoming aggressive due to anger may lead to violence, be it physical or emotional, but being assertive allows a
person to express himself in a healthier, less harmful approach, leading one to share the root and possible
causes of his anger by communicating it appropriately. Being aggressive can easily lead to more problems
and even more damage. The consequences of becoming assertive are far less harmful, and may even be
constructive.
Constant and open communication keeps you from “bottling up” your hidden emotions – and more importantly,
your hidden anger.
Healthy Venting
People can be like volcanoes – they lay dormant for years and years, on the surface seemingly at peace, but
underneath they are actually boiling with anger, ready to erupt at any moment. To avoid such destructive
“eruptions”, it is important for a person to be able to regularly vent frustrations in a healthy and manageable way.
The most practical approach to this is by sharing and relating them to other people. You may talk to your friends,
your significant other, or a psychiatrist. In any case, verbally expressing the potential sources of anger
is an effective solution to keep a person from those unhealthy eruptions of anger.
Better listening skills improve communications
Communication doesn’t always have to mean being able to talk about one’s feelings openly – it also means being
able to listen intently to others. And listening is of great importance when trying to keep your anger at bay.
For instance, should you get involved in an intense argument with another person, your uncontrolled
anger may lead you to become extremely aggressive and even violent, to the point of no logic or reason. But if
at first you had attempted to listen to the other person’s side of the story instead of hastily and
angrily defending yours, you might have saved yourself the headache and the damage brought about by a
fist fight and a bad reputation.
Train yourself to always think before you speak (and act).
People who can’t seem to control their anger often find themselves jumping to conclusions – they allow themselves
to be taken over by their emotions and eventually find themselves acting on pure instinct, without reason.
With better communication skills, a person learns to find calm in a heated argument or a tense situation,
able to step back and think about what’s going on. This way, he is able to decide on a more appropriate method
of addressing a problem and finding a solution. It's often dangerous to jump to conclusions.
To improve your communication skills and better deal with anger management issues, try self-help books, or seeking
the advice of a psychiatrist. Whatever approach you choose, it is your willingness to learn and change your
ways that will help you resolve your issues and find happiness.
NEXT: Learning proper assertiveness skills
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