Maintaining Confidence and Control
Being assertive is often defined as being self assured, strong and confident. Being assertive means being able to express
how you feel and at the same time maintaining control of those feelings.
A confident person asserts his rights since he feels that he will do anything and everything to make sure such
right is protected. The characteristic of being assertive can be
used to control a person’s emotions, especially his anger.
Anger is a natural emotion but knowing how to control it takes practice. An angry person will usually react in
an aggressive manner which means being combative with the object of his anger. This will only produce a negative
effect not only to the object of the anger but more importantly to the person who is expressing his anger.
The difference between being assertive and being aggressive
Expressing anger can be tiring physically and emotionally and it can lead to emotional breakdown. However,
a person who has mastered the art of expressing his anger can be a winner in more ways than one.
It will always be difficult to stay level-headed when one is angry. But this is the art of
mastering your emotions. Man should never allow himself to be a victim of his emotions and his primitive desires.
It may temporarily feel good to lash out at someone in anger but knowing the consequences can help a person control
his rage.
Think Before Reacting
An angry person can choose to express his anger and suffer the emotional and physical consequences later.
He can choose to keep his anger to himself and risk getting heart problems. The best way
to express anger is to manage your emotions and learning how to communicate what you feel to the other person
without getting too excited.
Being assertive in expressing anger means being able to tell the object of your anger what you want and what
the other party can do to achieve what you want. Communicating things clearly is always better than getting
worked up and possibly hurting others and yourself.
Most often people get angry because they do not like the way things are being done. Sometimes, they do not l
ike the way they are being treated by another. To make sure you have a solution for your anger, you have to
communicate your needs to the other person by being assertive. Perhaps, the other person is not aware of your
needs or is not aware that he is already upsetting you. You have nothing to lose by being assertive and explaining
what you want and your point of view.
Developing assertiveness skills will take time but the more you practice, the nearer you will
be to your goal. Possessing assertiveness skills means maintaining control and being able to express
your emotions in a calm manner.
Relieve Stress
Like most life skills, assertiveness skills can be developed over time to express anger logically.
If you are angry and you feel like striking the object of your anger then do something that can release your
anger. Try releasing pent up emotions by going for a walk or using other coping mechanisms such as playing a
sport, running, yoga, drawing or playing a musical instrument. Remember that releasing sweat can work
miracles in releasing and letting go of stress and anger.
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